Thankful

Well for the past 6 days I have been overcome by the migraine monster.  I have suffered from pretty bad headaches for over 20 years now and although they steal my joy and family times...I still can give thanks for them.

These past several days have been no different from the many ones before.  Sick, in bed, taking meds for the pain, taking meds for the belly that is now aching due to the meds for the headache.  What a vicious cycle!

One thing that I can truely say that is good during these times, is that my prayer time is constant.  I have been awake all night before and as I try to be still and position myself in a way to find the best comfort, I pray.  I don't just say little prayers...I PRAY!

I have a journal with many, many names in it.  If I have said to you that "I will be a prayer warrior" then you better know I do just that.  I have been in prayer throughout many nights, with no sleep at all.  When I think about it, all night seems so LONG and yet after getting through a night of prayer and looking back on it..it really amazes me how it's really not that long.

I take these times to try to escape the pain I am in and get my mind to focus on those around me.  For years now I have begged God to heal me of my headaches, but the other night I began to wonder...would I be praying this way if things were different?  I want to believe that I would, but I can't say for sure.

I have been given so many things to be thankful for, reminded of how faithful my God is to me and my family.  One huge thing is my hubby just hit his 6 month mark since his car accident.  But not only those big ones should we be thankful for...I give thanks for the rain that made my grass green again, for new babies in the family, kids, my son's car to keep running...the list goes on and on!

Be thankful in everything, the hidden blessings will show up when you LEAST expect it.

My two birthday boys

In the past week things have been really catching me off guard.  My family celebrated two birthdays that are the numbers that hit ya right between the eyes.  Colin my oldest had his 18th, and Nathaniel with his 16th!  Birthdays for me personally are just a number and each year we have them and move on.  But when your CHILD has a birthday and goes through the different milestones, well it gets me every time. 

I love how my husband truely believes that he looks like his senior picture (not kidding).  He is a kid at heart, loves to have fun and if we owned no mirrors I would never be able to convince him otherwise.  I will admit that for the past 18 years, things seem the same and feel the same.  Where did the time go?  On each child's birthday Todd and I talked about each birth as if it were yesterday...how could it possibly be all these years ago? 

Colin 18 (the oldest of 7) was our first of everything.  The first child, grandchild, great-grandchild to our families.  He was early in everything that he did from talking, walking and my favorite...whistling!  One of my favorite memories was going grocery shopping in our local store McMakens and having him whistle as I would go up and down the aisles.  I would be stopped by people passing and asking "Is your baby whistling?"  Colin was 9 months the first time we heard him.  Colin is like his dad, the center of attention and the life of the party.  No matter what mood you were in, he would have you laughing and smiling in the end...I LOVE THAT!  Had another important milestone for Colin as well, he GRADUATED from highschool this year and is working right now to save money..he bought his first car and is going to college in the fall.  Oh how my heart soars with pride!  I cannot wait to see where his journey will take him  :)

Colin's senior picture

Nathaniel 16 (the second oldest of 7) was next and let me tell you, we were in for a ride of our lives.  When we took him to his two week check-up, the doctor was checking him out and telling us how he was doing great and looked good.  She did the final thing by checking his heart and then again rechecked it.  She looked at Todd and I and asked if the hospital mentioned anything about a heart murmur and we told her no.  She listened again and stated that she would feel better if we just went to have it checked out....So we did.

Long story short and with many appointments with the cardiologists..feedings were labored..him sleeping most of the day, Nathaniel had a hole in his heart and needed open heart surgery.  Again, it was just like yesterday for me.  At eight months old, my sweet and chubby baby had his surgery to repair the hole.  Thank the good Lord for technology!  So each year when we celebrate his birthday, I celebrate the fact that he is healthy with no affects of his surgery and is a strong young man with the scar to remind us all of why we celebrate.  Nathaniel is a hard worker, has a big heart and loves to work on anything to get it to run.  I love his passion and know if he persues what he loves, then he will be doing what he loves and that is all I could ever ask of my children!

Nathaniel ~ One of my favorites and what he does best...EAT!

March 17, 2011 ~ Part 2

TIME STOOD STILL....

As thoughts raced through my mind, thinking of my daughter who was with my mom at home not feeling well, and needed her mom with her.  Thinking of my little man, whom is my shadow all day long.  The thought of my kids who were in school and not knowing at this very moment I was headed to the hospital, what was I to do?

I had to contact someone, someone who is my rock during difficult times.  Someone who I know gives me unconditional love no matter what.  Someone who gets me!  I texted my sister-in-law Emily...I NEEEEDED her and her strength, to bring me back to this planet.  I told her what had happened and to have her let my brother-in-law (Todd's brother) know.  I wanted/needed Craig to go and be with Todd, I knew he was closer and could/would get there quicker than I could and be with him.  I also am close with Craig, yes he is a brother-in-law...but also my friend.  He gives me support, he is level headed when I'm not and also a rock for me...I needed him there not only for Todd, but for me too.

As my dad and I became closer and closer to the hospital I found myself just thinking that this was no big deal, and my hubby had a couple of bumps and bruises.  Well, he didn't...I remember walking into the ER, I hate hospitals..the smell, the sounds, blood, needles, the unknown. The reasons why we are there ~ because our loved ones are there.  As I went through the door I was greeted by Craig who began going down the list of vitals for me.  Todd was stable, he was asking for me, and conscious.
As I went through the doors leading into the halls of rooms filled with patients, it seemed like a never ending maze to get to Todd's room.

This was when I first saw Todd



Here is his van at the junk yard...makes me sick
 every time I look at this.  Giving glory that Todd
survived that day!

TIME STOOD STILL....

As I walked into the room, there laid my husband all banged up, bloody and bruised.  My father-in-law was in the room with him at that time.  As I went to Todd I could only give glory that he was alive!  He doesn't remember what happened, I truely believe that is how our bodies deal with trauma.  But he did share that he was transported by CareFlight, which took me back a bit...ok ALOT!  As I was leaning over Todd, giving him love and reassuring him things would be alright, telling him the kids were  ok, his nurse came into the room and said to be very careful not to move him.  I slowly moved away and she began to tell us that he had a broken neck and a shattered eye socket.  WHAT?!  Broken neck! 

TIME STOOD STILL....

All I know is the immediate thoughts of hearing "broken neck"....Thoughts of surgery, wheelchairs, spinal cord injury were just the top things that invaded my mind.   As Todd laid there, he WAS moving hands and feet which to me helped me stay calm.  We were told he would be fitted for a special neck brace and long story short, he would not need surgery for his neck and the brace would take care of him during his healing process.  Todd's neck was broken at his c6, and it was a "nice" break from what the nurse told us.  It was not splintered or jagged which were usually the case and those breaks are the ones that can float and go into the spinal column.  The shattered eye socket on the other hand would need surgery and would be done the next week.  At one point I remember talking with Todd as my dad was with us, thinking of his staying and how things needed to be taken care of with our kids.  The next thing I know, his nurse came in with a bit of shock on her face telling us we could take him home...TODD COULD GO HOME!  How could this be?  My beautiful man was involved in a very bad car accident, taken to the hospital by CareFlight, has a shattered eye socket and a BROKEN NECK!  Did I just hear this right? 



I remember thinking there was no way, what if something happend at home and how can I do this?  The very sweet nurse told me/us it would be fine, we would do great and she just couldn't believe he was brought in early morning by CareFlight and early evening he was walking out of the hospital...YES, I said walking out!  The nurse said a few times to us throughout Todd's release that "People are not brought in on CareFlight with bumps and bruises...they are brought in due to being critical and needing to get to the hospital quick!" 

 I will be honest with you...CareFlight has a pattern that they use and it just so happens to go over our house.  The rumble it makes as it nears just amazes me, and though I am so thankful for technology..The sight and sounds takes my thoughts of my husband being up there, being worked on and rushing to the hospital.  I break down every time.

From that day up to the present, we have been shown the healing hands of the great physician.  Prayer warriors and prayer chains do work, we felt and saw it daily and still do. 


 It is coming up on Todd's four month mark since his accident and here is the latest stats on him:  Todd had reconstructive surgery for his eye socket and stayed in the hospital overnight.  He did great with minimal swelling.  To this day you cannot pick which eye was worked on. The Facial Max Surgeon released Todd from his care.   Todd was also released June 11th by his Ortho. Surgeon and is neck brace free.  Todd DID NOT need physical therapy which is usually unheard of, he has great range of motion and strength in his neck. As I type this I still am emotional at how fast he has healed, and all I can do is give glory!


Todd and I after him having his shattered eye socket repaired

 Thanks to all those who were praying for him and our family within the first couple of hours after the accident, like I said prayer warriors were huge in this day.  My cousin was in Uganda at the time with her husband on a missions trip and heard through facebook and began prayers there. Our pastor also was also on a missions trip in Cambodia who then began praying.  I want to thank family who came that day to give support to me, Craig, you kept me on track!  For our sweet friend John who even though was in a very bad car accident over a year ago and had not been in a hospital setting since...he came for us and we thank you John!  I want to thank also Jacob, one of our pastors and Todd's boss who also came to show his concern and to extend his support in whatever we needed.



Out shopping with our little man

 
I am still in awe of Todd's healing, and each  new day is a gift with him!  NEVER take your life, marriage, family for granted...it could all change in a blink of an eye.  So go hug on your loved ones and no matter what the day brings, enjoy them...I know I do!

The day he was released by the neck surgeon and brace free





March 17, 2011 ~ Part 1

March 17th, 2011 was not only a Wednesday, St. Patricks Day or another school day for my kids, another day filled with mounds of laundry...March 17th was the day that put things into perspective just a bit more for me....

That morning seemed to be a rushed morning for us as a family.  We seemed to be behind schedule getting ready for school and if you know my family at all (and probably you face this too), if our time is off from the start....the whole day is off! 

I had just finished getting my little ones their breakfast and sent them off to finish getting teeth brushed, deoderant on and bags ready. My oldest daughter was going to be staying home from school sick with a belly bug. On this morning my husband was going to head over to a job site for a new school being built near our home and was going to go there before heading to the office.  My hubby was getting ready to leave for work and came into the kitchen to kiss me goodbye.  I was a bit "out of sorts" I thought from being behind with the morning and as we said our goodbyes, I told him I had a very uneasy feeling.  He told me to have a good day and would call me later on in the day to check in, and then he left.

So as usual, I got the munchkins all ready for the bus, got out there just in time and began my day.  Usually in the mornings I take my time, shuffle around the house with my faithful coffee cup in hand.  I wait for my little man to wake up and we enjoy snuggle time while watching Diego.  That morning he woke up earlier than I was expecting, and so he had his breakfast as I picked things up around the house.

It was going on 8:30 and if I wanted to get that ever so wonderful shower in for the day...now was the time!  I was getting ready for my shower when the phone rang, and as I was walking past I glanced down at the caller ID to see it was an unknown name/number.  I don't know about you, but to me that was a sales call and a waste of my time to answer it.  On the third ring, a feeling came over me so strong to answer it...and so at 8:35 a.m. I answered the phone.

With every ounce of me I was so hoping that when I said hello, it would not be a sales call or survey that needed the next 10 minutes of my time...this momma needed her shower!  But what I heard will forever change the course of my day.

I answered the phone with a very curt hello and the voice on the other line asked if this were Mrs. Maxwell?  I told them yes, as I know not in a very nice tone.  The lady on the other end began telling me she was a nurse at a local hospital, and that my husband was in a very bad car accident.

TIME STOOD STILL........

Between the raging thoughts, asking myself if I heard her right she began to tell me that I needed to come as quick and I could.  I asked her again which hospital he was at and as the conversation was almost at an end, she told me....They are working on him! (Ok, sidenote here - If you have ever watched a television show and they are "working" on someone, what comes to mind?  Well in my mind came the vision of doctors and nurses all around my husband, someone yelling "CLEAR" with those paddles and the heart monitor beeping sound!) I hung up the phone.

TIME STOOD STILL........

I have never in my life felt the way I did.  Not only panic, what do I do, fear...but frozen with fear!  I literally could not move for what  felt like forever.  I remember at that point kind of snapping out of it and talking out loud to myself trying to talk my way into what to do.  I told myself to get dressed, to turn off the shower, and to go downstairs.  We are very thankful in the living situation we have in our home.  My parents live with us and the way the house is set up, they are within an arms reach, thank God!  I went to tell them about the call I just got and they went into "help" mode.  My Mom stayed home with my daughter and son, my Dad drove me to the hospital and let me tell you that was the LONGEST...DRIVE...EVER!

TIME STOOD STILL....... 

Why I took a break from my blogging

Well, here I am again back at my blog.  I took a bit of a break from it to reflect on why I was blogging, sharing personal heartfelt feelings.  Sometimes I have come across blogs that while I was reading, I would find myself turned off by how the blogger was drawing me in. 

I noticed that some blogs I followed were reminding me of highschool, with bashing and coming across as if I were beneath them.  I stopped for a while to rethink how I was blogging and why I was blogging.  The great thing with following someone's blog that I feel is no longer the road I want to take is...I can stop.  I want to surround myself with good things, positve reads and encouraging stories. 

It feels good to sit down and type again. I enjoy getting my thoughts down, even if no one ever reads them.  For me, this is a type of therapy on many levels.

I want to be able to share with you what I have faced over the time I have been on my break.  And let me begin by saying....Hang on, it hasn't been quiet.